Fail again, fail better? Maybe not.

I am still working on a biography. Recently someone told me about a woman a little older than UG who met him in Madras at Adyar way back when they were kids. He was according to her, a gentle fellow, going around with hands clasped giving ‘namaste’ to people very politely. When I think of the tapes from the earliest years after the calamity it’s clear he was a serious seeker even as a child. There are so many incidents that give images, sketches of the young UG. All fictions. He was the child of a wealthy family. He was a speaker for the Theosophical Society, he was a traveler. He would take fly over tours of Madras as a young man. He bribed a govt official to obtain his passport illegaly on his 21st birthday and immediately took off to England without informing his grandparents who were his caretakers. What to do with all this information? One of the reasons I wanted to write the biography is to show how serious he was and what he lost along the way in his search. The story of his family is rough. He stopped at nothing to get to the bottom of things. The role of father fell away and things happened to his family, horrible things. But these things happen to a lot of people. Somehow there is a wrong headed magical thinking associated with him in my head. SInce he died, several friends of his died. In some corner of my mind the words formed the question “How could this happen?” It was a silly question, as if these things were not natural. That is magical thinking of course. UG told a friend of mine that until he gave up the idea of enlightenment, he couldn’t become enlightened. “You all seem to be fond of listening to lectures etc… I do not know, if at any time you realize for yourself that you never listen to anybody in this world. You always listen to yourself.” “I very often point out to those who come to listen to me and talk things over that no dialogue is possible and yet no dialogue is necessary.”
The futility of this effort to write about UG is that it amounts to an attempt to justify my interest in the man. Who cares what I think? It’s entertaining, that’s about all.

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3 Responses to Fail again, fail better? Maybe not.

  1. Im very glad someone is writing it, its a great story, and there so many stories within the stories. The people around him, everything..its a book i want to read..and, to put it bluntly,a good idea to do now before a lot of these people die, and there stories with them. Of course it is not possible to write an objective account of his life, if such a thing exists at all, and difficult to separate the man from what he said, the so called facts from the so called fictions..but you did a stunning job in goner, not just in the writing, but conveying a feeling.Just from personal experiences its remarkable how everyone has there own version of UG, The Indians seem to see him in a very different light than the westerns,i can only guess because of there culture. No approach is the correct one, but something that bob carr said to me often comes to mind, how he would say,”bob, don’t let them put me in a religious framework” Bob seemed to think its not possible, but, and naturally this is my interruption ,for me he has never fitted the spiritual framework well. He seems to me to be a man unto himself, alone and apart from any tradition. Another thing that i have found is that its like the uncertainty principle in action,( the more you look at a thing, the unclearer it becomes), its very strange. And there is the strange conception that he didn’t want to be remembered. all in all, its very baffling, the moment i think ive gotten a grasp of it, is the same moment that i know i haven’t understood anything. yes, it will be a great book. very entertaining i am sure. i wish you the best of luck!

  2. Branko says:

    Yes… In response to reading this and the comment above i feel a “wish” swirling around inside. I want to say ” I hope you do it ‘ and “I wish you all the success with this project” That doesn’t quite fit…
    A very deep form of entertainment. I think your unique take or “photograph” of u.g. is awesome. The other peoples biographies are good only because they are about u.g. 🙂 I know that sounds mean. The way the u.g. virus has infected you is unique 🙂
    Maybe you have no choice in the matter – You may be pregnant with this book 😉

    Has any one mentioned that U.G. wasn’t ordinary as much as he said he was ?
    Prior to Calamity you could say he was established in “consciousness” already
    Seekers Meditate their brains out for decades/lifetimes for that state. U.G. was able to brush it aside as a petty mystical experience. I think thats when the Atomic explosions started to take place.
    Everybody stops at the mystical level and starts organisations and gathers followers.
    U.G. gave everything up.

    All the best with your next venture Louis.
    Thanks for letting me dirty up your blog
    from time to time.

  3. Janet Brown says:

    I was with you up to the horrible things
    then seemed to miss the segue to the magical thinking
    then rolled off down a familiar hilly terrain

    Are you in touch with UG’s daughters?

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